and this last one?

*

**

***

well,

if you dont,

i dont either.

so

that

means

im

dead

on

04.01.2008.

ok. this will be lame. but, i watched national treasure & i trooped down from ps to paragon just to have that photo with santa's christmas tree. having to force my way through the ants of people along orchard. but it was worthwhile! and yes, armed with the new toy in hand, i managed to capture beautiful photos. :)






i've been slacking & partying at home. i just realised the tonnes of work waiting for me next week. oh gosh. pls. somebody help me. i totally suck at plant design simulations. and bep reports due in mid-jan. sian. furthermore, i just got a new toy. :) canon powershot. hehe. time for me to explore the world of photography. tmr im gonna watch national treasure. but if the tixs are all gone, then most prolly we'll walk along orchard or vivo and do some silly poses.

tonight i shall do something useful for myself. like typing the REPORT!!!
pls. somebody pls do scream at me so that i could start doing my sch work.

QAAS quiz is just NEXT WEEK. 4th jan. -.-

when school reopens, i have 3 weeks of sch, and 2 weeks of exams, and then....

IM HOLIDAY-ING!
and i'll be thinking abt what to do after poly...

but till then..

im gonna have to do sth abt my sch work...



MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!






im editing the photos & i've yet to get the rest from the ones with cameras. :)







aww...isn't she just adorable?
each time i look at her, i'll just keep on smiling.
and i'll talk to her, and she'll just answer 'mm..gaga..'
watever that means in baby language.
hehe.
had fun with the family to beach road.
im still waiting for the photos from the girls for yesterday's outing!

hopefully HADY & MIKE win something in ASIAN IDOL!!!

i have deleted all my friendster comments that relates me and the past.
i don't wanna remember them at all.
be it 2005, 2006 and even the most recent 2007.
i do know that it affects him very much about the past, its the same for me too.
i dont wanna take any chance that will make us drift apart.

sometimes, i do wonder if its for real.
that you deserve someone better than me.
but like what you've said, you are not bothered by the past.
and i've always wanted you to prove it.
is changing of phone number enough to convince it?
is changing emails (eg: friendster,msn,facebook, etc.) enough to convince it too?

i know you are mad that i poured my heart contents to the friends & this blog.
im sorry.
its just that i dont want to hurt your feelings.
whenever we talked about her, you'll defend her somehow.
and i'll get mad.
i'll start cursing and swear.
i mean, how could you compare me to her at times?
in terms of character and etc.
u said im super jealous.
how could you compare us to friends of yours that never quarel/fights eventhough they're together for 5 years.
how could you possibly know they're living a happy life?
its so wierd, isn't it?

but,
is it really my fault?
i know you hate it, but i can't help it.
its just so difficult for me to let you know, to tell you things that might hurt you.
i love you,i do.

like what i've said the other day, if you feel better with her,let me know.
i'll let you go willingly.
i've been in this situation not too long ago.
i know i'll be able to handle it again.
i feel much better knowing that you are happy with someone else who could keep you happy.
i feel much better to know that the one i love is happy.

i'll just let time tell me the answers to every question that i have.
but i just wanna let you know that even up to this day, i still do have insecurities deep inside.
its something that i just can't help it.
and i don't even know what to do with it.


so till then, i'll wait for more signs from you & Him.

watching the road to asian idol, which reminds me of 2 person. hady and delon.

delon: Was during my o'level years. 2004. oh gosh. i swear i was swooned each time he sang on stage. he was like the perfect dream guy for me. *winks* i even had a poster of him in my room. hehe. but its sad that he wasn't picked to be the idol to represent indonesia. (but thank god neither rini nor ihsan got through).

hady: Was last year, i think. yeah. i remembered that i went with zah and hal to the results show. hehe. it was superrr eggggciting. i remembered i voted for him, like 5 times? hehe. but, like what they said during the show, hady is a ladies man. but not for me. i voted for him cos i didnt want the ceena to win. :) go hady go! make singapore proud!


i must say its a tough competition. the indian idol has the voice of a hindi movie singer!
and vietnam's idol is sooooo prettyyyyyyy!!! i love her natural looks. :)

i woke up at 6, feeling that lazyness in me. with the cold weather, it didnt help me waking up at all. so in the end, i decided to skip the 8-10 class, and just come for 12-2 class. being me, i reached sch at 11.40, proud of myself that i reached school early for once. haha. but when i reached t424, i was like thinking? why the hell is my class in 424, when they are supposed to be in 425. that was when one of my classmates told me that the 12-2 class been shifted to 10-12. so i came for the last 20 mins only. wtf. so in the end, i met him at pasir ris after his sakura. and we went to queensway to alter our pants/jeans. he bought a new pair of adidas shoes. and then we went off to vivo. i finally ate my laksa from the banquet. we wanted to watch alvin and the chipmunks. but in the end, didnt cos the movie only slots at 7. so he sent me home. and kept his stuffs at my place.

i seriously feel like buying another pair of skinnies. maybe i'll get the white or dark brown. im so sleepy right now. im going to sleep. bye.


sayang, if u are reading this, i just want u to know that i love u so much. im glad i have u now. and i dont care abt the past, now its just u and me dear. that's the most important thing now.




just now had class from 9 to 12. i came at 9.30. -.-
im so annoyed that i have to rush out early every morning, just to get on the train.
i cant wait for the day when i dont have to rush myself and force myself into the train.
so after school i went to bugis with eve.
we walked around bugis village,looking for the "perfect" dress for my add.
i thought it would be endless, till i finally decided to settle for this electric blue dress.
it's quite hot.
i know that mom and he wont mind me wearing it cos its quite 'conservative' compared to the others. hehe.
then, i got myself this pair of gold earrings, and a pair of 'goldish' pumps.
now left for me to find a perfect clutch to go with.

then me and eve bought this super cute shirt which says 'i like music'.
not bad uh. finally i could get something after a very long time.
i think the last time i went shopping was somewhere in july.
hehe. that was super long ago.
lols.

my feet are aching, but i know it was worth it.
so now im thinking whether to ask him change the long sleeve shirt that he bought, to a color that will match mine.
maroon and blue wont go together right?
so that's why im gonna ask him go change the shirt to either blue or black :)


i hope tmr i get to meet my darling ladies in sp.
hmm.
i end at 11 tmr!
and if i dont meet them, i'll go home and get my bep report/pdp report done then!
later im gonna watch csi.
and if im super tired, i think im just gonna go sleep.
hehe.
adios.

though i was quite restless during the lectures today, but it ended up good.
it the sense that, i've been told of good news & i know its for sure. :)
he's gonna get the contract, which means, another 3 years for him, serving the nation.
im glad cos its what he has always wanted.
from 2nd lt to full lt, then insya'allah to oc i hope.
and everything will fall into place, just like how we wanted it to be.
but i know that i'll have to sacrifice alot, and it takes time to adjust.

i've been a slacker and my butt's getting bigger!
harhar.
its time for me to start do something for my plant design and bep.
i know it sucks, but i have no choice.
school holidays are not for me.
i have too many things to do when i come back from the break.

but for now, i shall take a chill pill.
tmr's im gonna shop for sth (at least to keep myself happy?)
im gonna go bugis and look for the add stuffs.
:)

too tired to even think.
my legs are aching now.
yesterday => bugis
today => airport, town,bugis,pasir ris.
tmr i got sch at 8.
so now im gonna sleep... zzZzzzZZZzzz


and oh, one more thing,
i hate HYPOCRITES.
so stop being one.
stop pretending.
if you really wanna know, i hate you for who you are.
and like what they called it, " your own preference ".
don't think i could ever accept you being that way.
i don't.
that's for your info for sure.

i could still remember the date 7th december. it felt just like yesterday when you left me all alone, here, in a dark hole of yours.
you left me with no explanation over what happened, when you decided to walk out that door. and i was helpless, to let you go.
i tried and tried to run after you, but you were too far away, and with her.
it took me months to forget you, when i finally did, boy, im glad i was over you.
the love that you gave me, wait, pretended is such a better word, was enough to make me stronger and be a better person. so to this day, 7th dec, i dedicated this entry for you, bastard. im glad you took that step. im glad you decided to leave.
though there were times where i remembered you, but, im thanking you for making that decision.
if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't have met someone who's wonderful and great like him now. someone who's a thousand steps higher than you,someone who's worth to smile for, & definitely a someone whom i want to share my life with.
i regretted that i cried for you, i regretted that i lost my appetite for you, and i totally regretted all those times i spent with you.
i realised that those tears i shed, was the key for me to open up that door for him.
so i thank you, if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't have him by my side now.

so now, i thank you for leaving me, last year, on this exact date.
thank you for everything. i hope you'll be happy with her now, the one that you left me for.

i dont understand why you have to go behind my back and pester my friends what i did for the fyp. fuck you. seriously. since day one of fyp, you did not even bother to help us. what you gave us was just pieces of paper aka trash. then, you expected us to figure out everything by ourselves. thank god she had family friends who could show us what that stupid programme was about. anyway, just because im not as smart as friends and i didnt answer the questions during the Q&A, doesnt mean that i dont know anything. hey! its not fair. the way you looked at me and my friends, gave me that creepy feeling and i got nervous and that's why i had slipped of the tongue and etc. fuck you lah. i bet you are just using us as one of your phd projects right? idiot. with that, you have just convinced me that you look like a tard, with spastic smiles.

thank god im just gonna see you 2 hrs every monday & 1 hr every wednesday.
if not, i would have died cursing you.

and this last one?

*

**

***

well,

if you dont,

i dont either.

so

that

means

im

dead

on

04.01.2008.

ok. this will be lame. but, i watched national treasure & i trooped down from ps to paragon just to have that photo with santa's christmas tree. having to force my way through the ants of people along orchard. but it was worthwhile! and yes, armed with the new toy in hand, i managed to capture beautiful photos. :)






i've been slacking & partying at home. i just realised the tonnes of work waiting for me next week. oh gosh. pls. somebody help me. i totally suck at plant design simulations. and bep reports due in mid-jan. sian. furthermore, i just got a new toy. :) canon powershot. hehe. time for me to explore the world of photography. tmr im gonna watch national treasure. but if the tixs are all gone, then most prolly we'll walk along orchard or vivo and do some silly poses.

tonight i shall do something useful for myself. like typing the REPORT!!!
pls. somebody pls do scream at me so that i could start doing my sch work.

QAAS quiz is just NEXT WEEK. 4th jan. -.-

when school reopens, i have 3 weeks of sch, and 2 weeks of exams, and then....

IM HOLIDAY-ING!
and i'll be thinking abt what to do after poly...

but till then..

im gonna have to do sth abt my sch work...



MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!






im editing the photos & i've yet to get the rest from the ones with cameras. :)







aww...isn't she just adorable?
each time i look at her, i'll just keep on smiling.
and i'll talk to her, and she'll just answer 'mm..gaga..'
watever that means in baby language.
hehe.
had fun with the family to beach road.
im still waiting for the photos from the girls for yesterday's outing!

hopefully HADY & MIKE win something in ASIAN IDOL!!!

i have deleted all my friendster comments that relates me and the past.
i don't wanna remember them at all.
be it 2005, 2006 and even the most recent 2007.
i do know that it affects him very much about the past, its the same for me too.
i dont wanna take any chance that will make us drift apart.

sometimes, i do wonder if its for real.
that you deserve someone better than me.
but like what you've said, you are not bothered by the past.
and i've always wanted you to prove it.
is changing of phone number enough to convince it?
is changing emails (eg: friendster,msn,facebook, etc.) enough to convince it too?

i know you are mad that i poured my heart contents to the friends & this blog.
im sorry.
its just that i dont want to hurt your feelings.
whenever we talked about her, you'll defend her somehow.
and i'll get mad.
i'll start cursing and swear.
i mean, how could you compare me to her at times?
in terms of character and etc.
u said im super jealous.
how could you compare us to friends of yours that never quarel/fights eventhough they're together for 5 years.
how could you possibly know they're living a happy life?
its so wierd, isn't it?

but,
is it really my fault?
i know you hate it, but i can't help it.
its just so difficult for me to let you know, to tell you things that might hurt you.
i love you,i do.

like what i've said the other day, if you feel better with her,let me know.
i'll let you go willingly.
i've been in this situation not too long ago.
i know i'll be able to handle it again.
i feel much better knowing that you are happy with someone else who could keep you happy.
i feel much better to know that the one i love is happy.

i'll just let time tell me the answers to every question that i have.
but i just wanna let you know that even up to this day, i still do have insecurities deep inside.
its something that i just can't help it.
and i don't even know what to do with it.


so till then, i'll wait for more signs from you & Him.

watching the road to asian idol, which reminds me of 2 person. hady and delon.

delon: Was during my o'level years. 2004. oh gosh. i swear i was swooned each time he sang on stage. he was like the perfect dream guy for me. *winks* i even had a poster of him in my room. hehe. but its sad that he wasn't picked to be the idol to represent indonesia. (but thank god neither rini nor ihsan got through).

hady: Was last year, i think. yeah. i remembered that i went with zah and hal to the results show. hehe. it was superrr eggggciting. i remembered i voted for him, like 5 times? hehe. but, like what they said during the show, hady is a ladies man. but not for me. i voted for him cos i didnt want the ceena to win. :) go hady go! make singapore proud!


i must say its a tough competition. the indian idol has the voice of a hindi movie singer!
and vietnam's idol is sooooo prettyyyyyyy!!! i love her natural looks. :)

i woke up at 6, feeling that lazyness in me. with the cold weather, it didnt help me waking up at all. so in the end, i decided to skip the 8-10 class, and just come for 12-2 class. being me, i reached sch at 11.40, proud of myself that i reached school early for once. haha. but when i reached t424, i was like thinking? why the hell is my class in 424, when they are supposed to be in 425. that was when one of my classmates told me that the 12-2 class been shifted to 10-12. so i came for the last 20 mins only. wtf. so in the end, i met him at pasir ris after his sakura. and we went to queensway to alter our pants/jeans. he bought a new pair of adidas shoes. and then we went off to vivo. i finally ate my laksa from the banquet. we wanted to watch alvin and the chipmunks. but in the end, didnt cos the movie only slots at 7. so he sent me home. and kept his stuffs at my place.

i seriously feel like buying another pair of skinnies. maybe i'll get the white or dark brown. im so sleepy right now. im going to sleep. bye.


sayang, if u are reading this, i just want u to know that i love u so much. im glad i have u now. and i dont care abt the past, now its just u and me dear. that's the most important thing now.




just now had class from 9 to 12. i came at 9.30. -.-
im so annoyed that i have to rush out early every morning, just to get on the train.
i cant wait for the day when i dont have to rush myself and force myself into the train.
so after school i went to bugis with eve.
we walked around bugis village,looking for the "perfect" dress for my add.
i thought it would be endless, till i finally decided to settle for this electric blue dress.
it's quite hot.
i know that mom and he wont mind me wearing it cos its quite 'conservative' compared to the others. hehe.
then, i got myself this pair of gold earrings, and a pair of 'goldish' pumps.
now left for me to find a perfect clutch to go with.

then me and eve bought this super cute shirt which says 'i like music'.
not bad uh. finally i could get something after a very long time.
i think the last time i went shopping was somewhere in july.
hehe. that was super long ago.
lols.

my feet are aching, but i know it was worth it.
so now im thinking whether to ask him change the long sleeve shirt that he bought, to a color that will match mine.
maroon and blue wont go together right?
so that's why im gonna ask him go change the shirt to either blue or black :)


i hope tmr i get to meet my darling ladies in sp.
hmm.
i end at 11 tmr!
and if i dont meet them, i'll go home and get my bep report/pdp report done then!
later im gonna watch csi.
and if im super tired, i think im just gonna go sleep.
hehe.
adios.

though i was quite restless during the lectures today, but it ended up good.
it the sense that, i've been told of good news & i know its for sure. :)
he's gonna get the contract, which means, another 3 years for him, serving the nation.
im glad cos its what he has always wanted.
from 2nd lt to full lt, then insya'allah to oc i hope.
and everything will fall into place, just like how we wanted it to be.
but i know that i'll have to sacrifice alot, and it takes time to adjust.

i've been a slacker and my butt's getting bigger!
harhar.
its time for me to start do something for my plant design and bep.
i know it sucks, but i have no choice.
school holidays are not for me.
i have too many things to do when i come back from the break.

but for now, i shall take a chill pill.
tmr's im gonna shop for sth (at least to keep myself happy?)
im gonna go bugis and look for the add stuffs.
:)

too tired to even think.
my legs are aching now.
yesterday => bugis
today => airport, town,bugis,pasir ris.
tmr i got sch at 8.
so now im gonna sleep... zzZzzzZZZzzz


and oh, one more thing,
i hate HYPOCRITES.
so stop being one.
stop pretending.
if you really wanna know, i hate you for who you are.
and like what they called it, " your own preference ".
don't think i could ever accept you being that way.
i don't.
that's for your info for sure.

i could still remember the date 7th december. it felt just like yesterday when you left me all alone, here, in a dark hole of yours.
you left me with no explanation over what happened, when you decided to walk out that door. and i was helpless, to let you go.
i tried and tried to run after you, but you were too far away, and with her.
it took me months to forget you, when i finally did, boy, im glad i was over you.
the love that you gave me, wait, pretended is such a better word, was enough to make me stronger and be a better person. so to this day, 7th dec, i dedicated this entry for you, bastard. im glad you took that step. im glad you decided to leave.
though there were times where i remembered you, but, im thanking you for making that decision.
if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't have met someone who's wonderful and great like him now. someone who's a thousand steps higher than you,someone who's worth to smile for, & definitely a someone whom i want to share my life with.
i regretted that i cried for you, i regretted that i lost my appetite for you, and i totally regretted all those times i spent with you.
i realised that those tears i shed, was the key for me to open up that door for him.
so i thank you, if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't have him by my side now.

so now, i thank you for leaving me, last year, on this exact date.
thank you for everything. i hope you'll be happy with her now, the one that you left me for.

i dont understand why you have to go behind my back and pester my friends what i did for the fyp. fuck you. seriously. since day one of fyp, you did not even bother to help us. what you gave us was just pieces of paper aka trash. then, you expected us to figure out everything by ourselves. thank god she had family friends who could show us what that stupid programme was about. anyway, just because im not as smart as friends and i didnt answer the questions during the Q&A, doesnt mean that i dont know anything. hey! its not fair. the way you looked at me and my friends, gave me that creepy feeling and i got nervous and that's why i had slipped of the tongue and etc. fuck you lah. i bet you are just using us as one of your phd projects right? idiot. with that, you have just convinced me that you look like a tard, with spastic smiles.

thank god im just gonna see you 2 hrs every monday & 1 hr every wednesday.
if not, i would have died cursing you.